01 October 2009

And It Could All Be Over – Just… Like… That!

A few days ago, I had an experience that made me realize how important this journey is to me.

I was riding my bicycle on the W & OD bike trail when one bad decision nearly ended everything I have been working toward. I had a bike accident that could have easily killed me. Thanks to my guardian angle, I am still here and my journey has taken on a different meaning.

I’ve taken for granted how easy my transition has been. Though I am separated from my wife, living in a new home, without my kids, I am very fortunate. My wife is still one of my best friends. My kids – though they struggle with what I am doing, still love me. The rest of my family still loves me and my transition is creating a beautiful relationship that was lost between my sister and me.

When my bike and I did a summersault, and I landed on my head and crushed the helmet I was wearing, it brought everything into perspective. The thought that went through my head when everything slowed down was… It can’t end this way. I haven’t finished this journey. This wouldn’t have happened before. I probably would have been happy to see the suffering to end; I would have looked forward to moving on to my next life.

Sooo… When I got sired today while picking up my Rx from the local pharmacy, I kept the events of a few days ago in mind. In my best voice possible, I said… Sweetie, do I look like a sir to you? She quickly apologized in a very sincere way. At the end of the transaction, she smiled, thanked me and wished me a good evening.

Though these times can be hard and it’s often so easy to get upset about the smallest slight, remember… It could all be over – just… like… that!

- Brookie

Disclosure Letter to Cousins (English)


I would like to ask you for a very big favor. I need a letter that is written in English translated into French. It’s a letter about me that is very personal and reveals something very sensitive about who I am. It’s regarding something that I have struggled with for most of my life. I need the letter translated to French so I can send it to my cousins that are friends on Facebook. I am including the letter that needs translation to the end of this email. Once you read it, you will understand everything.

I plan on sending the letter out around Friday 27 November. I would be more than happy to talk to you about the letter on the telephone. I felt more comfortable starting the conversation this way, instead of over the telephone. The letter follows:



I am writing to talk to you about a very personal issue that I have struggled with for most of my life. Since the age of eight or nine, I have always felt that I was woman and that I was born into the wrong body.

Around the age of 12, these feelings became extremely strong. As a result, I tried to better understand my feelings and started to explore their meaning by dressing in women’s clothes. Also around that time, Uncle Jacques and Aunt Gere learned about my feelings. This time was difficult for all three of us. The year was 1973 and not much was known about gender identity. Aunt Gere sought professional help for me. In the end, the psychologist that talked to me said I was fine, and that I would grow out of these feelings.

It’s approximately 36 years later and during that time; I have battled and waged war after war against these feelings to convince myself the psychologist were right. I went to support groups, saw therapist after therapist, sought religious understanding, practiced meditation and yoga, all in attempt to understand why I felt this way. In the end, I discovered these methods of self discovery, were only tools that I used to deny my true feelings. Though Buddhism and meditation never worked in the way I wanted them to, I am grateful for discovering this philosophy and self awareness practice. These practices combined, led me down the path of self acceptance.

Though I had been approved by therapist two other times to use the female hormone estrogen, I never went forward. I always convinced myself that nothing was wrong with me and ended therapy and any progress I made toward becoming my true self. About a week before Aunt Gere entered the hospital and about four weeks before she died, I started using estrogen. Within two weeks of hormone use, I discovered a sense of peace and calmness that I had never known before. The estrogen helped me feel complete. Sense then, I have been working with a therapist and other doctors to help me realize a life long dream that started at a very young age. The last nine months of my life have never been better. I am finally at peace with myself and though I face many obstacles, I have no doubt that these challenges are not insurmountable.

I am now at the point where I have made plans to start living my life as a woman. 27 November will be my last day at work as a man. On 30 November I will begin living my dream and start a new life as a woman.

I am sending you this message because I am interested in maintaining my Facebook friendship with you and would like to continue following your lives. I am going to disable this Facebook account shortly and ask anyone that is still interested in keeping me as a Facebook friend to “friend” the adorable brunet named Brooke Alexander. ;) Brooke is the person that I have always wanted to be.

My wife Shannon and two children, Kyle and Taylor are doing well. They are very accepting of my decision and happy to see that I am happy for once in my life. Shannon and I are separated and still remain very close, loving friends. Kyle is starting his junior year in high school and Taylor has started her second and last year in middle school. Both of them have been seeing and work with a therapist to help them with their feelings and any difficulties they face with friends. Please keep all three of them in your thoughts and pray for their happiness.

I understand that some of you might have strong feelings about what I am doing. I respect your feelings and understand the all of us cannot see life in the same way. I thank you for the opportunity we had to know each other.

Namaste (I bow to you),
- Brooke